A Little Birthday Self Reflection

At 73, I am finally learning to appreciate and accept who I am. It truly is a lifelong gig, this business of self-awareness. We are taught from early childhood to evaluate ourselves in comparison to others and, ultimately this just messes with our capacity for joy. One thing that aging teaches us is to make the most of our strengths and talents and to let go of trying so hard to be a certain way. Sometimes the things we perceive as flaws actually are the traits that make us unique.

Here is a list of this year's realizations:

• I get bored easily. Always have. I think that's what drives my creativity-and it also makes this nomadic seafaring life appealing to me.
• I'd rather be doing than observing and I learn by taking action. I'm not a very good spectator.
• My mind thinks I'm 37 not 73. My body is beginning to remind me otherwise.
• I may not get to do everything I aspire to in this lifetime, so I'd better enjoy the hell out of every day.
• Resting is OK. I had it in my head that the more I accomplish, the better. But no one is giving out awards for exhausting myself. I have even begun to appreciate a little afternoon nap and a day of reading.
• I hate that I am so addicted to my phone. I have never been addicted to anything in my life, but this tiny thing that has the whole world crammed into it, and it is so compelling. The weather, the news, new yoga sequences, inspirational videos, political drama, snippets of family photos and news, cute outfits, customer orders, inspirational art, recipes and books and songs and the bottomless pit of need from around the world--it is just too much. And yet I can't resist.
• My people are the thing. I love my alone time, but it only makes me love my people all the more. I realize that gathering folks together is one of the pillars of my existence. I need community and I believe we all do, but some of us haven't found the ones who really see us and love us anyway.
• I am still a hippie at heart. The idealism of my youth is firmly etched on my soul. I am distressed by the ego-centrism of our current society. There is no room for hatred, for exclusion, judgment, greed--we are bombarded and goaded into fear instead of love. I refuse to believe that the ugliness that seems to be normalized is what people really want.
• For my birthday I blow out my imaginary candles, wishing for the world to wake up before it's too late. "When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."